


One Last Time

by Writer_Jpg



Series: Kylux Sad Stuff [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: A big death, Angst, I'm Sorry, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Poor Hux, Protective Kylo Ren, Rey is mentioned - Freeform, Sad Ending, There's a death, it's not a good time for anyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 13:24:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13812081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_Jpg/pseuds/Writer_Jpg
Summary: Kiss me one last time.





	One Last Time

**Author's Note:**

> :^) I'm not sorry. I never will be sorry.

Kylo was not sure if it was the persistent, harsh ringing sounding off in his ears or the growing stacks of crumbling rock pressing on his legs that pulled him from an unconscious state to one of faint awareness. He wasn’t sure of anything that was happening around him. He was sure he was alive. He was sure he had no life-threatening injuries that his hazy mind could immediately process. He wasn’t so sure he wasn’t in shock and wasn’t bleeding out on the hard, shaking ground his cheek pressed into. In fact, he wasn’t so sure of exactly where he was entirely. Was he on some distant planet undergoing whatever training Snoke was demanding of him? No, that wasn’t possible. Snoke was dead. Body somewhere in the ruined wreckage of a ship lost in space. It wasn’t that. Did he flee from the First Order like a cornered coward, hoping his mother would accept him back with open arms? No, he couldn’t. He knew, after everything he’s been a part of, the Resistance would rather see him dead than alive. Then where—

  
‘The trade deals.’ Kylo’s mind supplied as he blinked his eyes, watching as move loose dirt fell from above, falling across his head, shoulders, and down his back. The ringing was fading. Slowly. Only to be replaced with screaming. Endless screaming. Screams of pain. Screams of orders. Screams of anger. Just screaming that Kylo could barely separate from the ringing. Gathered tears from the pulsing in his head and the aching that swallowed his body (particularly in his mostly buried legs) were blinked away and Kylo was starting to see his surroundings. It was an ugly planet with an equally ugly name he couldn’t exactly recall. Hardly any plant life that wasn’t poisonous with endless fields of dirt forced over layers of trash that was buried right beneath his feet. It had been nicknamed the “Floating Trashcan”; an accurate title for a planet made of nothing but metal, dirt, and filth. Kylo could tell he had been left out in the open. There were no trenches to fight in. Nowhere to hide. At least, he thought there wasn’t until he turned his head and found the ruined, twisted metal chunks of what had been a First Order ship stabbed into the ground above him, dropping loose rocks onto him. He stared. He stared until more dirt fell and he had to turn to spit because it had caught his open mouth. He moved slowly. Painfully. Every muscle in his arms cried out when he pressed his hands down, trying to find leverage to lift himself away. The rocks on his legs were light and few; the felt more like dirt than hard rocks, so they were brushed aside easily with a weak kick from Kylo. He shook, strained, and eventually pushed himself to one knee, chest heaving from the effort that took alone.  
‘My lightsaber.’ He thought suddenly, eyes widening as he reached past his torn robes, feeling along his belt. ‘Where? Where?!’ He bared his teeth in anger and pain and looked up, hoping to find it a few feet away, buried beneath rubble.

  
Instead, he found a massacre.

  
Bodies were everywhere. Bodies of Storm Troopers. Bodies of the Resistance. Bodies of civilians. Blood blending with dirt and shreds of armor and clothes that were scattered across the field. Blasters that had been crushed, melted, or abandoned were as prominent as the bodies. More metal rubble was visible. Some of the shrapnel had sparks flying from loose wires. Others were swarmed by fires that were starting to reach the bodies under and around the wreckage. Limbs. Cleanly cut and shredded limbs littered around. If Kylo had turned his head just a bit to the left, he would have found a Storm Trooper’s arm only a few feet away from him, hand still grasping at the blaster in hand. It was in this moment, Kylo was missing his helmet. With it on, he wouldn’t have to be exposed to the smell of harsh iron, recycled trash, and burning flesh. The air would be filtered and he wouldn’t have to worry about the way his stomach was rolling. He tried not to gag. He really did. He also tried to not vomit.

  
He really tried.

  
_“Are you sure you can trust them?” Kylo’s voice had come through low and soft over Hux’s shoulder, making the man bristle only slightly. He didn’t look back at Kylo. His eyes remained on the pilot before the two of them, watching as the man (who Hux had picked out himself) flipped switches, pressed buttons, and looked over a blinking map._

  
_“They’ve been trusted allies for years. Long before you were brought onto the Finalizer.” Hux said back. It was only after replying did he turn, shoulders pulled back and spine straight. “I only wish to rekindle these trade deals in hopes of having someone willing to help us rebuild.” His shoulders slumped just a fraction, tired eyes meeting Kylo’s gaze. He didn’t say what was on his mind. He didn’t have to. He knew Kylo could hear the words being projected without having to move his lips._  
_‘I just want this struggle to be eased.’_

  
_“We will rebuild.” Kylo said, determined. Hux’s eyes narrowed only slightly at that. Then he nodded._

  
_“Of course.” Hux turned, back once more to Kylo. Said man sighed slowly, closing his eyes as he tried to ease whatever nagging emotion was pulling at his chest. It wasn’t love. No, there was a time and place for that emotion (preferably in a bed with Hux pulled close to him). This was another feeling. A feeling much like the one he had held when he faced the illusion of his uncle on Crait. Fear? No. It wasn’t anything like fear._

  
_Unease._

  
_“Are you sure it is safe?” Kylo’s voice once again carried. The pilot hesitantly glanced to the map, as if the words caused a wave of paranoia that had him second-guessing this trip. Hux, for the most part, kept the flare of annoyance at Kylo’s words muted. Mostly muted. Kylo could still feel it rear up slightly and he could understand why. The redhead turned, eyes narrowed in obvious unease at the question._

  
_“Of course, it is. Why wouldn’t it be?” He sniffed. “Do you know something we don’t, Supreme Leader?” Hux asked, tone turning dangerous. Kylo glared at the accusation left unspoken._  
_“Of course not.” Hux’s shoulders dropped slightly. “It’s just as you said, General, that you haven’t heard from them in how long?”_

  
_“Two months.” Hux muttered. “What are you insinuating?”_

  
_“Are their loyalties still with the Order?”_

  
_“Their loyalties are with the money the Order can provide.” The General huffed softly. “Money that I doubt the Resistance can conjure up in the state they’re in.”_

  
_“You don’t only bribe someone with money, General.” Kylo whispered. Hux stepped closer and, after glancing briefly to make sure no wondering eyes of a stray Trooper or the pilot was watching, leaned forward so his voice would only be heard by the man before him._

  
_“You worry so much, Supreme Leader.” Hux paused, as if to consider what he had said. “Kylo.” He corrected. “If it will ease your worries, we won’t stay long. Just long enough to make sure the treaties are properly signed then we can board the ship and leave the rest up to Lieutenant Mitaka.” The General turned his grey gaze away from Kylo (who sourly wished for a new helmet in that moment to hide how expressively the shock at the General’s word showed on his face) to look back at the pilot and the map. Then he looked back and his eyes were bluer than grey in the lighting. “Is that to your satisfaction, Supreme Leader?” He questioned, voice still low. Kylo swallowed slightly and bobbed his head._

  
_“Yes.” He let himself lean down more to invade Hux’s personal space, making the man tense. Kylo knew how Hux felt about public affection. Especially in front of those in the lower ranks. Or anyone in the First Order, really. He knew he would smack Kylo’s hand away if it drifted too close when they were in an elevator just because of the off-handed chance someone was checking security feed or about to board the same elevator. That’s why he knew now how flustered, or pissed, Hux would be if he just leaned in a little closer and pressed a fleeting kiss to his cheek. The temptation remained as Hux refused to step back._

  
_“Perfect.” Hux whispered and, for a moment, Kylo was lost because Hux was staring him down with a look that didn’t match how tense and prickly the General appeared. It made him waver long enough for Hux to step back and turn, only the ghost of his coat brushing Kylo’s leg. Then he stepped away and Kylo was left swaying and chewing on his lip._

  
_“We have reports, sir.” The pilot called out. Hux briskly approached. “Ground forces touched down. It is secure enough for a landing.”_

  
_“Perfect.” Hux said again, louder and stronger and prouder than when he had whispered it to Kylo and the Supreme Leader felt a flush crawl back onto his cheeks._

  
_‘Hux was right. He’s always right.’ Kylo mused, releasing his lip. But he frowned and shifted from one foot to the other. ‘Then why does this feel not right?’ The Force was reaching out to him. A warning. A plea. Something that was telling him to turn around and not approach. A warning sign that was screaming in his head. He was trying to ignore it. Trying to tell himself that he was just overreacting and it was just paranoia eating away at him._

  
_But he just knew there was something else._

  
_The closer their ship descended towards the planet of filth and trash and deceit, Kylo felt his head pound and his stomach turn. They were slowing down. Approaching a comfortable speed to finally land. The smog around the planet was thick enough to block any views of land from sight._

  
_It also blocked the view of a gathering energy source that caused the hairs on his arms to raise and his heart to stop._  
_“Armi—”_

  
An explosion.

  
Kylo coughed, vomit still clinging to his lips as his chest burned with each heave. He was hunched, blood clinging to his ruined clothes and Troopers still screaming around him but suddenly he was remembering it all. The explosion. The blast. The way the pilot screamed as flames engulfed his body because Kylo had pulled Hux to him with the Force and left the pilot to die while he clung to the General. The way he had screamed when Hux slipped from his grip because they were thrown from the crash. The way his body had collided with the ground, rendering him completely unconscious in seconds.

  
The way everything came crashing down in seconds. Everything. Ships. Troopers. His brief moment of bliss as Hux had looked at him on the ship. Everything, crashing and burning. Except Hux. As Kylo blinked his blurry eyes and focused, he couldn’t see Hux. Not at first glance. He had to narrow his eyes and turn, ignoring how many bodies were around him and how another explosion was brought on directly behind him from what he could assume was a Resistance flyer. Maybe they weren’t even flying. Unless his father’s ship was nearby and Rey was flying it with Chewie, hammering them with shot after shot. No. If she was here amongst the Resistance (if it even was the Resistance, Kylo was simply assuming it was the most obvious of enemies that could be doing such damage) he would have sensed her long before they approached and known they shouldn’t have come. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t there. Because she was like a beacon that alerted him to the Resistance’s movements when they were close enough. Much like—

  
“Hux!” His voice carried far enough that Troopers long past the crumpled, broken body of Armitage Hux turned in alarm. They were dead before Kylo had stumbled his way to Hux, falling and crawling the rest of the feet because he just couldn’t stand anymore. He couldn’t. He couldn’t when the pain shot through his leg, up his hip, and settled in his chest as he tried to find words to say as he curled to Hux. Hux. His Hux. His broken, crumpled, bleeding Hux buried beneath metal and scraps of what Kylo could assume was once their ship. He can’t see Hux’s legs. He can’t even see if Hux has any legs in that moment. He doesn’t know what scares him more; the fact that he can’t see the lower half of Hux because of all the rubble or the scream Hux lets out when Kylo starts pushing on the rubble.  
A howl that tore through bloody lips and left Kylo scrambling back, heart pounding and body shaking.

  
“Hux?” Kylo called, hands curling around Hux’s cheeks carefully. He was scared to touch him after that scream. Scared to do anything. So, when his hands cupped Hux’s cheeks and he used his thumbs to press away tears and blood, he froze. Stiff. Watching as Hux blinked his eyes.

  
“Ren.” He said, voice worn. Kylo swallowed. “Kylo.” He tried again and Kylo resisted pressing his thumbs to his lips.

  
“Stop.” Hux blinked. “Don’t. Don’t talk. Okay? Just…Just stay quiet. Help will be here soon.” Kylo promised him. He pressed his fingers up and through Hux’s hair, pushing loose strands away from a cut on Hux’s forehead. Then he turned and stared down at the pile of debris that blocked the rest of Hux and he tried to figure out what he could do to move them. The Force. Of course! Of course!  
“Kylo.” Hux spoke again and he turned quickly, catching the way Hux turned his head so his cheek pressed into Kylo’s hand. “It won’t come in time.”

  
Kylo felt the world around him silence and his heart stop.

  
“No, it will. Just shut up.” Kylo said suddenly, and he turned, determined. He would lift the debris. He could get Hux safe. He would get help.

  
“Kylo.”

  
“Shut up.” Kylo hissed, low and cracking as he finally raised a hand from Hux’s cheek.

  
“Don’t.” Hux said and, slowly, brought his own hand up, fingers catching Kylo’s wrist. Kylo tensed, sucking in a sharp breath before he turned and stared down at Hux, ready to tell him to shut up again. “If you…if you move this metal, I will bleed out…bleed out faster.”

  
“Hux.” Kylo swallowed. Hux brought his hand up further, fingers brushing his cheek and moving as though to touch his lips.

  
“I don’t want to die faster.” Hux whispered and, in that moment, Kylo could see the solemn acceptance and regret on the man’s face. “I want more time with you before I die.”

  
“You’re not going to die.” Kylo snapped then and he felt a fear unlike one he’s held before. A fear of loss. A few of losing the only thing he has left. The only thing that may still believe in him. The only person he has left. Hux either didn’t hear his words (very unlikely) or he just ignored them and instead scoffed, closing his eyes for a moment.

  
“None of this is your fault.” He said after a moment, softly. Kylo sucked in a harsh breath.

  
“You don’t know that.” He started. “I should have said something sooner. I should have been more persistent. I should have done something. I should have forced you to turn us around.”

  
“Kylo.” Hux cut him off and it was that one word that broke him.

  
“No.” Was he begging? He couldn’t tell. He was crying. That much he could tell. Fat, cold tears rolling over his cheeks, dropping and missing with the blood that still covered Hux’s cheek. Hux didn’t even flinch when the tears hit his face. “No. You won’t.” Kylo shook his head furiously. His body shook. His chest heaved and he thought he was going to throw up again but he instead sobbed and, carefully, brought an arm down to curve around what was exposed of Hux, curling and pressing him as close to Kylo as he could without causing the man discomfort. His free hand shook as he pushed Hux’s hair back once again. “You can’t.” Kylo muttered, voice cracking and rising above the deep tone it always held. Hux blinked slowly, as if the act alone tired him. That made Kylo shake even more.  
“Can you just kiss me? One last time?” Hux asked, voice slow. Slower than Kylo had ever heard it. And, for a moment, he thought this wasn’t Hux. It couldn’t be. His General wouldn’t die so easily to a crashed ship. His General wouldn’t accept death so easily. His General wouldn’t be bleeding out in his arms as he powerless to do anything but deny and hope. Hope. A word he wouldn’t have dared to think about mere days ago. But now, as he feels Hux shifted weakly, angling his head to look up at him, it was all he had. Hope. Hope. Hopeless.

  
Kylo kisses him.

  
He kissed Hux like he did in the mornings, when both of them had just woken up and wasn’t exactly conscious enough to be aware of their movements. He kissed him like he did when they shared a shower and he was just about to rinse the soap from Hux’s hair. He kisses him like he did in the elevator, when Hux would be distracted on his data pad only to be flustered and absolutely hissing after the kiss. He kissed him like he did the first time they shared a bed and he was so unsure of what to do.

  
He kissed him like it would be the last.

  
He could feel the weak grip of Hux’s hand in his hair. His fingers didn’t dig in nail first into his scalp like Hux normally would. No, his fingers simply rested there, barely looping through the curls. The kiss was slow. Warm. A dripping mold of lips and dry blood that left a pang on Kylo’s lips as he pulled back just enough to press his nose to Hux’s, watching as the man barely opened his eyes. He was paler than when he had first been kissed and Kylo wanted to kiss him again and pretend they were fine. Pretend they were in the throne room, Hux on his lap and a teasing comment on the ginger’s lips. But it wasn’t that simple and Kylo knew it when the second kiss was slower. Softer. Weaker. Kylo pulled back and pressed Hux’s head to his chest, hoping he could hear his thumping heart. Hoped he could hear the words that, even in that moment, he couldn’t bring himself to speak. He sobbed again when he felt Hux turned his head and press close. His nose pressed into sore ribs and Kylo shook.

  
“You’ll live.” Kylo promised. “You’ll live.” He chanted like a broken prayer, feeling the curve of Hux’s lips dig into his ribs. He muttered those words until the world shook as a ship (was it the First Order’s or the Resistance’s?) crumbled to falling debris and flames in the sky above. Kylo flinched and pulled Hux closer, as if to shield him. When he glanced up, he watched as another First Order ship erupted into a ball of flames and bodies and crashed in the distance, exploding as soon as it hit. Kylo shook even harder as he heard the march of Storm Troopers running past. None of them glanced at their leaders. They fought and they fought and they fought. They marched headlong into what would most likely be their demise and they did it with a determination that Kylo knew had been placed in them thanks to Hux. Kylo could, in that moment, understand why Hux took pride in them.

  
“I regret some things.” Hux suddenly said, voice muffled into Kylo’s chest. Kylo tensed and looked down. “I regret not squashing the Resistance the day they took my Starkiller. I regret not making Starkiller better. More defendable.” Hux smiled then, a broken one. “I should have put my foot down when you brought that girl on board. I should have had you punished. Thrown to space. Cast out forever and my Starkiller would still be there.” Kylo winced slightly. Then stilled as a hand curved up, fingers dipping into his cheek. “But I don’t regret you.”  
Kylo kissed him again and his tears dropped to mingle with Hux’s own.

  
He pressed his forehead to Hux’s, just beside the wound, and with as much focus as he could muster, pressed a single thought into Hux’s mind.

  
‘I love you.’

  
“Medic is inbound!” A Trooper, directly to Kylo’s left, suddenly screamed. Kylo’s eyes opened and he whirled, spotting ships marked by the First Order insignia fluttering through the smog and waves of blaster shots. Only one was shot down in the descension, shot down by a fleeing group of Resistance flyers that, realizing the odds and numbers were shifting, quickly adjusted their plan to flee. Many of them were shot down in the attempts to escape and Kylo felt his heart kickstart back, his sobs fading as he coughed and tried to not smile. Help was here. Backup was here. Hux was going to be fine. He was going to live. He was going to be put in a bacta tank and forced to rest and he was going to complain to Kylo for keeping him locked away.

  
“Hux.” Kylo swallowed. “Armitage. They’re here. I told you. I told you they were going to show up and you were going to be safe.” Kylo laughed then. A relieved laugh as he bent and pressed his lips to Hux’s. He was going to survive. He was going to live. He was—

  
He wasn’t kissing him back.

  
Kylo blinked. He pulled his lips off then pressed back, harder than before, and felt no reaction. No twitch. No anything. Not even a breath tickling over his lips. Nothing.

  
Nothing.

  
“Armitage?” Kylo whispered. “Armitage.” He tried again and this time, he shook. He shook Hux. “Armitage!” The tears returned, his heart stopped, and Kylo watched as Hux’s pale, glassy eyes settled on Kylo—no, they settled past him, looking through him. It swallowed him. A wave of realization that help was too late.

  
That he had been too late.

  
“Please, no.” Kylo whispered. He turned Hux’s head up, facing him, and his tears fell freely. “No. I love you.” He whispered the words for the first time aloud, voice cracking and body shaking. Sobs broke through his pleas. “I love you. I love you. You can’t just leave me. Not like this. Armitage. You bastard, no!” Kylo screamed.

  
Then he wailed, like a wounded animal, and fell over Hux’s body.

  
Nobody dared to approach.


End file.
